Wow, its been a while since I last wrote a post. A lot of major changes have been happening for me and I really needed to get my head on straight before writing too much. For the last five and a half years I have had the pleasure of living out one of my dreams. Being a store owner met with all my hopes and dreams. I was lucky enough to have a husband who believed in me and was willing to support me emotionally and financially through this possibility. So after ten long years of planning and saving I opened The Magic Box in April 2010.
Along with being a dreamer I have the curse of being a realist. When we opened our doors it was with a very clear and precise plan. I had certain goals that had to be met by year five or it was time to pack it in. Unfortunately those goals weren't realized and so I had to say goodbye. I was lucky enough to find people to take over for me and carry on my vision while I step away from what has been my entire life for five years. I hope that the new people can make their goals and continue the good work that has been started with my store.
So it's been a very bittersweet time for me. Saying goodbye to a dream is never an easy thing. Matter of fact it's downright horrible. I've shed a lot of tears and had to come to terms with my failure. Even though many people tell me I didn't fail, it's hard to shake that image from my head. That's the bitter part, the sweet part is that it may continue on and be what I always wanted The Magic Box to be.
I've officially been unemployed for the last week (although lady of leisure sounds so much better). And after five years with only two weeks off I decided to take a wee bit of time to myself and just chill on the couch watching television and cleaning up, taking care of my kids - you know doing the everyday thing. I gave myself some time to get over this change. I believe I have come to terms with what happened and am ready to move on. I must say I am also incredibly humbled by my wonderful husband. Since closing the store he said take some time off. Don't worry about anything. We will get by. Take the time to figure out who you really are. Write, draw, watch tv and eat bon bons, just be happy. I hate it when people say how lucky I am to have gotten a husband like this but it is so true. I lucked out the day he walked into my life.
I've had other dreams over the last years and many of them are coming true. Being an author is one that I have thought out of reach - and that one is happening. I know it's time to move on, to build what I have started, to be the person maybe I was always meant to be (if only I'd had the confidence to try earlier). And so I will continue on my journey. Discovering me, learning about who I need to be. I'm ready to continue and I will fight on.