History Lesson

I know what you're thinking. "History lesson? Oh no! Is there a test? I haven't had time to study!" Fear not my dear readers, this lesson has nothing to do with me and there will be no passing or failing grades, no tests. I thought it would be fun to give you a little history on the world I created in 'Supernaturally Yours'.

You may see some characters, some news articles all sorts of posts from before my novel takes place. A little page of information that lets you see a bit of what happened to change our earth into the world that I envisioned in my novel.


This scene takes place after Anna has been zombified but before any meeting with Mr. Scrumptious. It is a stand alone (it doesn't appear in Supernaturally Yours) but showcases the relationship between Anna (my heroine) and her long time BFF, Jenny. So with that preface in mind lets delve into a girls night out....

"Oh my god Jenny, I cannot believe I let you talk me into this." Annas voice was raised over the thumping music.

"Pulease!" Jenny tossed her black hair over her shoulder and grinned. "You were looking for something to do tonight."

"Something. As in go out for coffee. Not this!"

"Just admit it, my favourite zombie, you love it!" Jenny squealed and turned towards the stage as the music swelled, announcing the next act was about to begin.

"Ladies, next up for your pleasure," a voice sounded over the loud speakers, "a return engagement with the Latin Lady Lover, Luciano!"

The women surrounding the stage surged and screeched with bliss.

Just before the lights dimmed Jenny waved at the place cards in front of both girls with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Luciano dance onto the stage, his hips snapping back and forth. His smile was predatory as he twirled the little mustache on his upper lip. He mouthed the words to the song and the women in the bar went crazy. His waist length hair was unbound and by the end of his act he had turned around and was shaking a well waxed ass towards the crowd as his hair haloed about him.

Anna laughed along with Jenny and they both held up their large cards.

Annas read "7.5" and Jennys "5.0"

The music died off and Luciano was now available for private dances.

A tie dyed thong clad waiter brought them their latest round of drinks, a concoction aptly named "A full monty" for Jenny and a schmirnoff ice for Anna.

"7.5 really?" Jenny drawled.

"I was trying to be nice." Anna sipped on her drink.

"5.0 WAS being nice. Did you not see that huge pimple on his ass? And how small his -"

"Jenny!" Anna interrupted.

"I was gonna say, eyes were. How small his eyes were. You, Anna have a dirty mind."

Anna nodded in total agreement and they broke into laughter.

"Why aren't you drinking something fun, like a buttery nipple?" Jenny questioned when the giggles had finally dried up.

"I would think that's obvious." Anna smirked. "You won't catch me drinking anything in this place that doesn't come from a bottle." She waved a hand, indicating the dank dirty interior of "Hussies Strip Club" then she added. "You never know what you might catch."

"Anna, you're already a zombie. You can't 'catch' anything, hell you can't die!" Jenny giggled drunkenly into her drink.

"Hey just because one of us is being responsible doesn't mean you have to get huffy." Anna fluffed her insanely red hair out behind her, in the process she inadvertently slapped a passing drunk girl.

"I'm so sorry!" She turned towards the girl in apology.

The girl had a penis adorned necklace on and continued stumbling by without noticing the backhand. With relief Anna turned back to Jenny.

"I do not get huffy." Jenny stated emphatically.

"Um, that tone alone was huffy." Anna laughed just as the stage lights dimmed once more.

Jenny reached over and pinched Annas thigh in silent retaliation.

"Ow!" Anna yelped then leaned over and mock whispered in Jennys ear. "Just cuz I'm a zombie doesn't mean that didn't hurt! If you weren't my bestie I'd lay a beat down on you!"

Jenny rolled her blue eyes in disbelief then turned her attention back to the stage.

"Tonight we have a god among men here from down under." The disembodied voice announced. "The one, the only, The Long Dong Ranger!"

A man dressed in a khaki outfit sauntered onto the stage. In his left hand he carried a bullwhip, which he snapped loudly on the hard wood of the stage. His face was hidden in shadows below his Tillie hat. Slowly while his hips rocked back and forth to the beat of the music, he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it down his arms. The green shirt his the floor and Mr. Musclebound outbacker coiled the whip around his torso. The leather slicked against his greased up, hairless and oh-so-well-defined pectoral muscles. Like a snake finding its way home the whip slithered and slid its way around the pure perfection of the Long Dong Ranger.

The audience held its breath as Ranger grabbed at the waist band of his trousers. With a negligent flick of his wrist the outbacker yanked the tearaway pants off.

He stood there, all muscled and defined man, in his leopard skin thong, allowing the women to worship him with their screams. The audience lined up on the stage, waiting for their chance to tuck bills into his almost non-existent outfit.

As each woman approached, he thrust and spun and waggled his ass at them all perfectly in time with the music. Giving them exactly what they wanted, a show.

Jenny and Anna held up their matching scorecards. "9.0" They cheered their approval along with the entire audience.

A tap on Annas shoulder caught her off guard. She turned suddenly, and spilt her drink on the extra large body builder wearing a 'bouncer' shirt.

"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed, trying not to look at the offending spill, which happened to fall so it now looked like the bouncer had wet himself.

He took a long breath and then said. "Ladies. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't allow Olympic type scoring."

"Hey!" Jenny yelled. "We're paying customers! You can't make us leave!"

"You may be paying customers, but you have had several complaints against you and you have made our artists feel uncomfortable."

"Artists?" Jenny stood in her five inch heels with her hands on her hips. "Artists, come on now, that's a pretty big stretch."

The bouncers lips thinned as he grabbed each womans arm and led them out of the bar.

The door slammed resolutely behind them.

"So," Anna laughed, "that was fun."

They walked laughing towards the nearest cab and Jenny smirked. "It was the first time for me."

"What you, a stripper virgin?" Anna feigned surprise to which Jenny snorted a negative. "Okay, I know you've been thrown out of bars before, so what cherry got popped for you tonight?"

Jenny grinned. "First time being kicked out of perverts row."

The cab pulled up to them and both girls, laughing piled into the back.


April 20th 2022
*Special Advisory*
Published by The Beacon Herald

Citizens of Stratford,

It is with a heavy heart, that I, as the Mayor of the beautiful city of Stratford, present this news release pertaining to the imminent dangers faced by all the citizens of my home town, my country, indeed my world.

As, I am sure, you have heard on the news, and seen on your televisions, the world is changing. There is a threat, a very real threat that may change our entire way of living. Yesterday, Dr. O'Ryan released his horrible virus on the world. It was not a joke. The virus has begun already appearing across the United States. Earliest estimates put it reaching Canada within a few days.

The good news, if there can be said to be any good news in our current predicament, is that you do have several days. Days to prepare.

The virus, known as 'savior' causes humans to become the undead, supernatural creatures. From what we are seeing, they truly appear to be the monsters from our nightmares. Zombies, Werewolves and even Vampires have been spotted. If anyone in your family, or vicinity appears with these bloodthirsty symptoms, do not hesitate, kill them. They are no longer humans. They will kill you if you don't kill them first.

Martial law has been declared. There will be no looting, no theft, no hoarding of property or persons. Stratford will survive this crisis, the human race will prevail. I must believe this with all my being, that or give up.

May we all pray for one another.

Attached you will find a bulletin from the government on the best ways to prepare for this apocalypse.

The Honorable
S. Stewart

Suggested Preparations

1. board up your home, keep your family members close but not to close
2. arm yourselves. Blunt objects, such as baseball bats, or shovels may suffice. If you have access to them guns work as well, however use them sparingly, noise may attract these beings and you have a limited supply of bullets. Sharpened weapons will also work against these creatures
3. take any and all non perishable food and buckets of water into a defendable place in your home. Preferably one without windows, such as a basement or attic
4. stay quiet. Avoid attracting any attention to where you are hiding and you may survive
5. take battery powered flashlights, and a portable radio with headphones to listen to AM980 (your government will broadcast there first when the situation is under control)Never fear top scientists around the world are working diligently to solve this crisis. They will find a way to stop this threat.
6. read the attached bulletin for what to do in the case of an attack

When attacked by a Supernatural Being

-the best attack is a good offense
-strike at the brain stem (hit them in the head over and over until they stop moving)
-If you are unable to attack them, running may be your best defense (with zombies that may work - they appear to be slow. If you have a vampire or werewolf attacking you more than likely will not be able to outrun them so fight back)
-if you are bitten but not dead. Kill yourself before you turn into a monster, if you do not have the means to commit suicide have a family member or friend do it for you. If neither of these are options, leave, get away from your family before you turn into the monster that murders those you love. Remember every bite is a death sentence - you are already dead. It's just a matter of how many people you take with you.
-if you are feeling the sudden urge for blood, brains or human flesh - see above



Dear Diary,

Mom, Dad and I have been stuck in this horrible attic for the last week. It's dusty and dry and uncomfortable. Dad keeps telling me to suck it up and moaning about me being a pain in the ass teenager. I sure am glad I had my thirteenth birthday before the apocaolypse apocalypse happened so Dad can moan about me being a teenager. (Diary that's sarcasm in case you didn't know)

I wish I knew if Jenny was okay. I can see her house through the slats on the dormer window. But I haven't seen any movement. I sure hope she's not dead.

I spend most of my time terrified. I've heard the zombies outside - I think I even saw a zombie yesterday. He was shuffling down the street, moaning. He didn't look scary - he just looked like Uncle Don did at the Passover party last year when he got drunk and threw up all over our car. Luckily he (the zombie that is) didn't come up to our house. It's the closest I've come to any of these monsters, it sure was scary.

I'm bored stiff. I can't watch television, I can't play outside. I can't do anything! I'M SO BORED!!!!! All I am allowed to do is read. I like reading, but not all the time. I know I sound selfish - that I'm bored when I know it could be so much worse. I mean I could be dead.

Mom got mad at me earlier today, I was trying to help. It's not my fault I tripped and knocked over the table, which happened to have the empty lunch dishes, some books and other things. It's her genes that make me clumbsy clumsy - she keeps saying I'll grow out of it - here's hoping. Anyways, it was the loudest noise any of us have made all week, it was SO loud. We had be ready, and hold our weapons for an hour after in case some werewolf heard me and came to eat us. Obviously we survived, no crazy- wild eyed supernatural being showed up and murdered us. At least it added a little excitement to the day. Not that I would want to do that every day or anything. But I wasn't bored for a little while.

I want to write more, just because it passes the time. But I have nothing to write. I'm just bored.


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