Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Don't call before nine a.m

Sorry it's been a little while. I've gotten quite wrapped up in a new project. The characters are taking over. lol. I'm at a bit of a stand still with Supernaturally Yours (waiting - patiently on the editor) so I've started something completely different. It's exciting, I love the way the characters feel, the interactions and the developing of a new story. I often feel like I have been taken over when I'm writing. As though the words aren't necessarily coming from me, but they are just spewing out into the world and I am merely a conduit, a pair of hands needed to put the story out there. It's been like that the last few days. While it is a great feeling on one hand - on the other it leaves me with more editing and reading, because it's like I have to read it again AFTER I've written the pieces to know what's going on. It's a little weird actually. Nonetheless I soldier on and love every minute of it.

I woke up this morning to the smell of spring in the air (about time too) the sun is shining and it feels like soon enough I will be wearing my beloved flip flops again.

I've always been a night owl, it's completely normal for me to see three a.m regularly. I woke up today truly wishing I was a morning person. I feel like being a morning person is a sign of maturity that I am lacking or perhaps that they get more done. I know, in my head, that there's the same number of hours in a day whether you get up early or late but it feels like the morning person is that much more productive. But when I see those chipper-little-happy-go-lucky-morning people who make it to the market, go to the gym, clean their houses, and do their gardening all before the sun rises, I get a little jealous.

I've tried to be a morning person - really I have, but I am just a total grouch if I get up before 9. All day I feel off and bitchy. PMS times four hundred and tired to boot. I can not seem to get things done. I yell. (well I'm more of a passive aggressive yeller so I glare and my venomous stare screams words for me) I just generally am not a happy person all day if I exit the comfort of my bed too early.

Then there's the fact that if I get up and go to bed early I don't get time to myself. At night when the house is quiet, thing 1 and 2 and Mr. Gloria are in bed, I find peace. I find the me time is valuable for my sanity. It's just me and Spike (my cockapoo) relaxing with either a book or the walking dead and my thoughts. Through the day I am so busy being Mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, store owner and all the other titles I have, that when night comes I get to be me. I truly appreciate that time.

So while I want to be a morning person to prove some unilateral idea of maturity that I hold. I also don't want to be a morning person, because I feel I would lose myself. The spark that makes me - Me. I guess I will just continue on with my usual patterns. Enjoy the moon light and the quiet. The time to develop and become the person that I want to be.

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