It's funny, the other day I was talking to a new friend. For simplicity lets call this friend Mary and her hubby John. The conversation went something like this:
Mary - "You know Gloria, John thinks you don't like him."
Me - "What? Why would he think that?"
Mary - "He says you never talk to him."
Me - "Really! And here I thought I was doing so much better!"
Although I may write about conversing with the opposite sex I'm not great at doing it for myself. I can count on one hand the number of males I have had a conversation that lasts longer than four sentences. I've always been an incredibly shy person (with strangers - once I get to know you watch out!) but especially with members of the opposite sex and old people (but that's a different phobia entirely).
Some of my friends husbands whom I've known for nearly twenty years, I was a bridesmaid in their wedding and I still haven't had a conversation with the husband on my own. When my girlfriend is there sure - but alone I have no idea what to say. Even my own brother in law, if I call and my sister isn't home I tend to hang up and not say more than ten words. I don't know why. I have no idea what to say. And my innate shyness comes back with a bang.
So back to the original point. With John, I have been actively forcing myself to talk to him. To be friendly, to be me. I wasn't letting my shyness overcome me: or so I thought.
I explained all this to Mary and how I thought I was doing so great with John and how I felt bad that he thought I hated him. We had a good laugh about it in the end. I was able to put their minds at ease that yes indeed I did like them and was making an effort which would get easier with time.
What it all comes down to is perspective. From my perspective I was doing great and everything was good. Froms Johns perspective I couldn't stand him. Each of our own life experiences dictates how we see things in many situations not just the one I experienced recently. How many times has a text been misinterpreted or an off the wall comment taken wrong?
Perspective is a really interesting thing. I've always wanted to take part in a social experiment that I heard about. It went something like this. You take a group of people and put them in the same restaurant, with the same conversation and food. Then you have each of them seperate and write out what had just happened. You would end up with completely different stories, because each person has their own perspectives and experiences to relate to.
I try to keep in mind perspectives whenever I am writing or even living my life in general. It doesn't always work but I do try. Afterall no one else has been through what I have, nor have I lived in another persons skin. It is too easy to jump to conclusions based on our own perspectives. So take it easy on one another, be understanding, if you think one thing is happening - ASK - don't assume. Give the other person the benefit of doubt and allow them to explain their point of view or what they actually meant.
I know these are great ideas to live by - harder to do in practice. But if we all try, at least a little, the world will become a better place.
Now that I've given that happy little bit of advice I shall sign off. Have a supernatural day!