Sunday, 16 March 2014

Grammar, my cryptonite

So I'm busy editing away. While I love the story and creating the characters and world, I have issues - serious issues - with grammar. Grammar to me is much like math. Sometimes I get it, and sometimes well, lets just say, I find it a tad confusing. *understatement* Like there are rules to follow, but only sometimes. And I don't have a rule book so I have no idea what to expect. "You use a comma but only in this case, in another case it might be a period or a semi colon. It all depends." Garr! Sometimes I think this is why I write poetry - because I don't have to have grammar and can pretend it's just an "artistic statement."

I had the image today that I was on an episode of 'The Price is Right'. Growing up we were in the country and only had three channels, so in the summer I pretty much faithfully watched the price is right. Since it was the only thing on at 11 a.m through the week. (I also became addicted to soap operas, but that's another story.)

I digress, I don't know how many of you remember the one game they used to play (they may still have it, I'm not sure) but it was called the Race Game. Contestants had four prizes to choose from and four different prices. They had 45 seconds to race around putting the prices where they think they went. Then they'd race back to Bob, or Drew and pull the lever. The techno wonderful machine would flash how many were right, then they raced back out to change the ones that might be wrong. More often than not when they ran back a second time they had more wrong and had to keep going hoping to get as many right as they could.

Anyways, my thought as I was making changes today was that when I send the book back to the editor, there would be more wrong with it this time BECAUSE of the edits I've made. That I'm stuck in some weird publishing version of the race game. Trying to get it right and just screwing up worse each time. Ending up making random changes, not because I think they are needed or correct, but because I have to try something if I want to win the game.

So that's where I've been, stuck in grammar world, worrying that I have been transported to a universe where commas are part of some weird conspiracy aimed to frustrate me beyond all get out. And hoping that by putting apostrophes in the right spot means I win.

I guess that's it for today. Wish me luck as I search for the semi colon.


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