This morning I sat in a coffee shop, a bit of a hole in the wall, bohemian place. The whirring sounds of the cappuccino maker and conversations of passersby’s combining with the soft voice on the sound system drifts over my ears. The floors are worn in a path that leads to the counter that is manned by a dreadlocked woman whose smile is infectious. I love this place. If I sit in the front I can watch as life goes by in an unending stream of traffic while I sit and enjoy the moment. If I sit in the back the windows overlook the river where I can see the changing colours of fall sliding along in a peaceful cornucopia of breath. Evens its name Slave to the Grind takes imagery and thrusts it into the mind.
So this morning I sit and enjoy my chai tea, the same as every other morning. Breathing and prepping myself for the day. I started coming here regularly as a way to force myself to write. I sit wrapped in the warmth of my favorite haunt and type away on my baby laptop. Inspiration finds me and makes me its bitch.
I have set a rather lofty goal of trying to write one thousand words a day. Most writers say to write three hundred and fifty, so perhaps I am being an over achiever. For those not in the know, three hundred fifty words is approximately a page. So a thousand is a lot and so far I’ve maintained that. I’m not kidding myself if I can’t make it well than I won’t beat myself up on it. But I like having a goal – an end point. And honestly usually when I start (especially when I am mid story) the words flow and I can easily end up doing twice that many.
But there are some days, especially coming up in the foul weather of south western Ontario where writing is like pulling teeth. Each word is a struggle. Or where the story goes sideways and I just can’t write it anymore. I have a novel that is in process, sitting at thirty thousand words (about half way done) and I’ve lost all my get up and go about the story, the characters, everything. I’ve got another one, where at ten thousand words I realized there was no way it could be used at all. Both of those I’ve set aside and hope to come back to at some point. For now I file them away and keep going.
I’ve got just over a week until my release date. It’s really getting close now, close and crazy and scary and exciting and pride filling and utterly terrifying. I’m holding it together barely suppressing my emotions but holding it together none the less. The passage of time seems like a paradox, at points going so slowly that things are NEVER going to happen, then whizzing by in hardly noticed impressions. I know I’m regurgitating what a lot of science fiction shows talk about, but I feel right now like I am stuck in warp drive.
I know I’ve talked before about the busyness of life and this month is no exception. I am organizing a huge Halloween bash, running the store, writing, releasing a book, having my daughter’s birthday, having to attend four other major functions and trying to breath. It’s a crazy month. So I apologize if my brain isn’t working the way I would hope it would normally.
Today’s nonsensical post is about nothing. I am going to include a poem, which I normally wouldn’t – this isn’t the forum for poetry but I wrote this the other day when Mr. Gloria asked me what it felt like to write a novel. I also in no way claim to be a poet but I was feeling it at that moment. So here it is, feel free to ignore it or read it your choice.
That’s it for today. Wish me luck as I progress through this week and try to hold my shit together. (and just so you know this post is sitting at 691 words – so I am not done for the day)
Birthing A Novel
Hour by hour, minute by minute
carving little pieces of my soul
to serve on a plate for the public to mock
Days spent in little coffee shops, ignoring family and friends,
Surrounding myself instead with my characters,
hurting when they hurt, crying when they cry,
losing time, losing sleep as the world I engross myself in takes over.
Monopolizing my time, my energy, my every thought.
staring out windows agonizing over what they would do and the choices they must make.
Hands constantly poised over keyboard waiting for the words to come.
Hoping, praying for inspiration.
So Why?
Why do it?
Why not just ignore the voices in my head begging to be let out?
Why, because the call is too strong.
I write or I am not.
I am what I am, I cannot pretend to be something else.
I cannot lose myself in the world of the mundane.
I will become something I can’t be
The story begs to be told.
I must endeavour to give it the justice it deserves.
I am a slave to my muse, to the creative juices within myself.
I follow because I have no choice.
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Tuesday, 14 October 2014
Oh my Gawd!
Today is a beautiful fall day and I am sitting in my favourite hole in the wall coffee shop, enjoying a tea. I do love the smell of coffee, it evokes such positive, warm, feelings, but I’ll be honest when I say I cannot stand the taste of the stuff. Makes me want to vomit – no matter how much milk and sugar I add. So I stick to my tea and pretend I am sophisticated, AKA adult, enough to drink a cup of Joe. I watch as the leaves change colours and while I love the look of this season, I hate knowing that winter is merely minutes away. I fully admit to being a summer girl, basking in the sun, never cold just breathing. But the wheel of time moves on whether I wish it to or not.
As October speeds along, things for me are just getting more and more real. Only seventeen days until the official release of Supernaturally Yours. (Which by the way is available for preorder in eBook format on www.musapublishing.com – here’s the direct link . My nerves are a little ruined; I am still in a total state of shock.
I was doing up posters for the novel when I thought I’d better put a web address on them, so I faithfully went to my publishers website (just to make sure I had typed it in right) and while there I thought “What the hell, let’s put my name in the search bar.” Just for (as my mother used to say) ‘shits and giggles’ and lo to my surprise the cover pops up. Along with my blurb, excerpt and link to the book trailer. There was also a little red button for “buy now”. I nearly peed my pants. Quite honestly I screeched (and for those of you who know me, know I NEVER screech). It was an honest “Oh my god.” Moment. (which I said at least four times – each progressively screechier. There it was. My book. My love, my soul, my brain child, bane of my existence, my focus for the last two years. RIGHT THERE! I don’t think I will ever have a moment like that again in my life. I immediately called Mr. Gloria at work (pulling him from a meeting – but OH MY GOD!!) I screeched at him and freaked out a bit. Okay a lot. But it’s all new for me, I’m allowed. I am trying to find the words to express my emotions in that moment. Overwhelming happiness, disbelief, pride, fear, anxiety and joy all rolled up into a big old ball of “oh, my GAWD!”
I guess I am still in that stage of being unable to believe it is happening. I keep expecting the publisher to turn around and go “oops, sorry. We made a mistake.” Or “Bazinga! Fooled ya!” Not that I don’t think Supernaturally Yours is a great book, I do. It’s just this shit doesn’t happen to me.
Although I seem to be the only one with these secret doubts hiding inside me. I was talking to Mr. Gloria about it and he says. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.” When I asked him what he meant by that he clarified, that he’d always known he would see my work published somewhere. From the time he read the first poem I ever shared with him he saw something in me that would be more. He said that he knew how special I was and that the world would discover it as soon as I let them see it, instead of hiding the real me behind a mask of normalcy. - As if he wasn’t sweet enough without all the honeyed words, then he has to go and say things that almost make me cry. Bastard. But a really great bastard nonetheless.
I was kinda shocked by his admission, for a few reasons. First, I never saw anything special in me, I am just me. Second, that the bugger has known I could do so much more, and in the twenty years we’ve been together he never told me to get off my ass and do it. Third, that he could have such faith in me is truly humbling.
So I sit in my coffee shop, almost drinking coffee and going over all the ways my life has changed. Wait that’s not right my life hasn’t changed, I have. I am learning to accept me and love myself and believe in myself and maybe that is where the difference is. I like the person I am, a year or two ago I would have hidden from myself, behind a wall of everyday mom, instead of embracing the wookie wearing scooter riding freak that I am. I would never have believed that I deserved any of this. The fact that the world will soon be able to read my work (which is like reading inside my brain, my mind, my soul) is terrifying to me but I’m not afraid of it. Sounds like a weird sentiment, but I’m terrified of putting myself out there to be ridiculed, to be thought of as ‘less than’ but I am also not afraid. I know this is the path I am meant to take, the one I have to take. This is where I was meant to be. I only shake my head at how long it took me to get here.
As October speeds along, things for me are just getting more and more real. Only seventeen days until the official release of Supernaturally Yours. (Which by the way is available for preorder in eBook format on www.musapublishing.com – here’s the direct link . My nerves are a little ruined; I am still in a total state of shock.
I was doing up posters for the novel when I thought I’d better put a web address on them, so I faithfully went to my publishers website (just to make sure I had typed it in right) and while there I thought “What the hell, let’s put my name in the search bar.” Just for (as my mother used to say) ‘shits and giggles’ and lo to my surprise the cover pops up. Along with my blurb, excerpt and link to the book trailer. There was also a little red button for “buy now”. I nearly peed my pants. Quite honestly I screeched (and for those of you who know me, know I NEVER screech). It was an honest “Oh my god.” Moment. (which I said at least four times – each progressively screechier. There it was. My book. My love, my soul, my brain child, bane of my existence, my focus for the last two years. RIGHT THERE! I don’t think I will ever have a moment like that again in my life. I immediately called Mr. Gloria at work (pulling him from a meeting – but OH MY GOD!!) I screeched at him and freaked out a bit. Okay a lot. But it’s all new for me, I’m allowed. I am trying to find the words to express my emotions in that moment. Overwhelming happiness, disbelief, pride, fear, anxiety and joy all rolled up into a big old ball of “oh, my GAWD!”
I guess I am still in that stage of being unable to believe it is happening. I keep expecting the publisher to turn around and go “oops, sorry. We made a mistake.” Or “Bazinga! Fooled ya!” Not that I don’t think Supernaturally Yours is a great book, I do. It’s just this shit doesn’t happen to me.
Although I seem to be the only one with these secret doubts hiding inside me. I was talking to Mr. Gloria about it and he says. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.” When I asked him what he meant by that he clarified, that he’d always known he would see my work published somewhere. From the time he read the first poem I ever shared with him he saw something in me that would be more. He said that he knew how special I was and that the world would discover it as soon as I let them see it, instead of hiding the real me behind a mask of normalcy. - As if he wasn’t sweet enough without all the honeyed words, then he has to go and say things that almost make me cry. Bastard. But a really great bastard nonetheless.
I was kinda shocked by his admission, for a few reasons. First, I never saw anything special in me, I am just me. Second, that the bugger has known I could do so much more, and in the twenty years we’ve been together he never told me to get off my ass and do it. Third, that he could have such faith in me is truly humbling.
So I sit in my coffee shop, almost drinking coffee and going over all the ways my life has changed. Wait that’s not right my life hasn’t changed, I have. I am learning to accept me and love myself and believe in myself and maybe that is where the difference is. I like the person I am, a year or two ago I would have hidden from myself, behind a wall of everyday mom, instead of embracing the wookie wearing scooter riding freak that I am. I would never have believed that I deserved any of this. The fact that the world will soon be able to read my work (which is like reading inside my brain, my mind, my soul) is terrifying to me but I’m not afraid of it. Sounds like a weird sentiment, but I’m terrified of putting myself out there to be ridiculed, to be thought of as ‘less than’ but I am also not afraid. I know this is the path I am meant to take, the one I have to take. This is where I was meant to be. I only shake my head at how long it took me to get here.
Friday, 26 September 2014
Back to reality.
So I’ve been struggling with a few things, which is one of many reasons why my online presence has been absent. First my mundane life (the one I live every day instead of the fantasy life, writing and being super creative 24-7) has been crazy.
I own a shop, a small shop but mine nonetheless and I have been crazily trying to keep up with the day to day (and playing catch up from vacation). Which, added to the decision to create a whole butt ton of products myself, has left me a wee bit tired, overwhelmed and frankly just a wee bit cranky. I tend to be a touch obsessive and want everything to be perfect, professional and DONE. When I think of an idea there is no putting it off – I want it now. Instant gratification girl right here.
So I come up with this brilliant idea to make incense (only 21 scents, no big deal) then I think, while I am at it why don’t I make a bath salts and a smudge spray (involving a sage infusion which takes a lot of time and energy), oh and rose water would go nicely along with that, and if I am making all that I may as well make Florida water and abramelin oil, and four thieves vinegar too. So what started as a “let’s do a couple of fun things” has exploded into a massive overwhelming undertaking. Please don’t misunderstand, I love doing all this – it’s just my eyes are bigger than my proverbial tummy. I am getting it all done- it’s just slightly boggling.
My vacation in Spain was great, also overwhelming and not what I expected. The views were spectacular, there were surreal moments interspersed with lows and highs so extreme they left me off kilter. Sometimes things don’t happen the way I think they should and I get let down easily. My feelings have always been my downfall, I can’t help but be the person who takes things personally and gets hurt regularly by things no one thinks will hurt. Mr. Gloria always warns me about wearing my heart on my sleeve and how he doesn’t like to see me disappointed. I try to be a duck (nothing sticks to a duck – everything just slides off its back) but I’m not. Anyways my vacation was exciting and everything – just not what I thought.
Although on a side note – the apartment we stayed at had a five piece bathroom (with a bidet and all) now I’ve seen these bidet things on television and heard about them but never had the opportunity to -ahem -test one out. So while I had one residing in the same space as me I thought, “what the hell – let’s give it a whirl.” Well, ladies let me tell you. It was not at all what I expected.
I have thought a lot about the experience and come to one conclusion – I am not high class enough to enjoy a bidet. The water temperature left lots to be desired, that and the spray wasn’t forceful enough to reach the bits it was supposed to be reaching, which left me splashing around like a child in an incredibly weird wading pool. But more than anything the awkward, demeaning and potentially dangerous position one needs to contort oneself into, in order to perch on the torturous device left me cringing. And incredibly thankful that I had preemptively locked the door so Mr. Gloria did not walk in on that fabulous view. Now that I have allowed you a glimpse inside my weird and odd bathroom escapades I will return to the topic on hand…what was I saying again? Hold on while I read the beginning and remember what I was talking about….
Right, that’s it.
So vacation wasn’t what I thought, and in my everyday life I’ve been incredibly busy. I also have been working away on some new stuff – finished my initial draft of a novella I hope to have edited and ready to send off to publishers soon. I've been plotting away, getting to know my next main character, who I think is pretty fabulous. I received the cover art for Supernaturally Yours (which I am super excited about by the way). Thing 1 started grade 12 and Thing 2 is now a high schooler. My babies are growing so big and old and mature that it scares me. These are some of the things I have been struggling to balance. I know I am not the only one who has issues finding harmony between family and work and passions. It has been quite a journey for me to learn how to do just that.
I also struggle with self-confidence (a lot) it’s one of the reasons it took me so long to actually send something I wrote to a publisher (or even let anyone including my besties or Mr. Gloria read my words.) I mean for God’s sake I just turned 40, who in their right mind starts a career path like 'writer' at this ripe age? I even have problems calling myself a writer or God forbid an Author. An author is someone like Katie Macalister, like Patrick Rothfuss, Charlaine Harris. These amazing creatures who can string together words like popcorn while sitting on the pedestals I thrust them on. It isn’t me, awkward, uneven, plain old me. I am not that person, and being able to see myself that way is a real trial. It doesn't happen easily. The past month has been a real trial with, and on, my esteem, believing that I am good enough, that I deserve this is a daily struggle that I encounter. I try so hard to not be down on myself, to believe, but it is difficult.
The publisher has delayed Supernaturally Yours publication date by two weeks. Not a big deal I know (in my head I know) but my emotions immediately went to the “What did I do wrong?” “I’m not good enough.” “This is all a joke, I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and find it never happened.” Place. It took a lot of internal self-boosting talk and listening to Mr. Gloria for me to put those thoughts aside and keep going.
So I’ve avoided posting, trying to think happy and be happy and post happy and most of all trying to be gentle with myself. Finally I couldn’t ignore it any longer I had to blog. SO here I am, emotionally naked, letting you all know what I can’t hide from. I’m not looking for pity (I can give plenty of that to myself) but rather just wanted to show you all I am human. I also wanted to explain my absence so that no one thought I was ignoring them.
Wow reading this blog back makes me sound right certifiable – I swear I’m not. I get down, and today (this month) has been a down time. I will survive, and will perk up by the next time I write.
An incredibly long post and for that I apologize and hope everyone can forgive my blabbering on. I promise next one will be happier. To ask for forgiveness I will include a couple of pictures of me in Mijas Pueblo and Ronda in Spain. As I said, unreal views and unbelievable moments. That’s what I need to hold onto rather than the low points.
I own a shop, a small shop but mine nonetheless and I have been crazily trying to keep up with the day to day (and playing catch up from vacation). Which, added to the decision to create a whole butt ton of products myself, has left me a wee bit tired, overwhelmed and frankly just a wee bit cranky. I tend to be a touch obsessive and want everything to be perfect, professional and DONE. When I think of an idea there is no putting it off – I want it now. Instant gratification girl right here.
So I come up with this brilliant idea to make incense (only 21 scents, no big deal) then I think, while I am at it why don’t I make a bath salts and a smudge spray (involving a sage infusion which takes a lot of time and energy), oh and rose water would go nicely along with that, and if I am making all that I may as well make Florida water and abramelin oil, and four thieves vinegar too. So what started as a “let’s do a couple of fun things” has exploded into a massive overwhelming undertaking. Please don’t misunderstand, I love doing all this – it’s just my eyes are bigger than my proverbial tummy. I am getting it all done- it’s just slightly boggling.
My vacation in Spain was great, also overwhelming and not what I expected. The views were spectacular, there were surreal moments interspersed with lows and highs so extreme they left me off kilter. Sometimes things don’t happen the way I think they should and I get let down easily. My feelings have always been my downfall, I can’t help but be the person who takes things personally and gets hurt regularly by things no one thinks will hurt. Mr. Gloria always warns me about wearing my heart on my sleeve and how he doesn’t like to see me disappointed. I try to be a duck (nothing sticks to a duck – everything just slides off its back) but I’m not. Anyways my vacation was exciting and everything – just not what I thought.
Although on a side note – the apartment we stayed at had a five piece bathroom (with a bidet and all) now I’ve seen these bidet things on television and heard about them but never had the opportunity to -ahem -test one out. So while I had one residing in the same space as me I thought, “what the hell – let’s give it a whirl.” Well, ladies let me tell you. It was not at all what I expected.
I have thought a lot about the experience and come to one conclusion – I am not high class enough to enjoy a bidet. The water temperature left lots to be desired, that and the spray wasn’t forceful enough to reach the bits it was supposed to be reaching, which left me splashing around like a child in an incredibly weird wading pool. But more than anything the awkward, demeaning and potentially dangerous position one needs to contort oneself into, in order to perch on the torturous device left me cringing. And incredibly thankful that I had preemptively locked the door so Mr. Gloria did not walk in on that fabulous view. Now that I have allowed you a glimpse inside my weird and odd bathroom escapades I will return to the topic on hand…what was I saying again? Hold on while I read the beginning and remember what I was talking about….
Right, that’s it.
So vacation wasn’t what I thought, and in my everyday life I’ve been incredibly busy. I also have been working away on some new stuff – finished my initial draft of a novella I hope to have edited and ready to send off to publishers soon. I've been plotting away, getting to know my next main character, who I think is pretty fabulous. I received the cover art for Supernaturally Yours (which I am super excited about by the way). Thing 1 started grade 12 and Thing 2 is now a high schooler. My babies are growing so big and old and mature that it scares me. These are some of the things I have been struggling to balance. I know I am not the only one who has issues finding harmony between family and work and passions. It has been quite a journey for me to learn how to do just that.
I also struggle with self-confidence (a lot) it’s one of the reasons it took me so long to actually send something I wrote to a publisher (or even let anyone including my besties or Mr. Gloria read my words.) I mean for God’s sake I just turned 40, who in their right mind starts a career path like 'writer' at this ripe age? I even have problems calling myself a writer or God forbid an Author. An author is someone like Katie Macalister, like Patrick Rothfuss, Charlaine Harris. These amazing creatures who can string together words like popcorn while sitting on the pedestals I thrust them on. It isn’t me, awkward, uneven, plain old me. I am not that person, and being able to see myself that way is a real trial. It doesn't happen easily. The past month has been a real trial with, and on, my esteem, believing that I am good enough, that I deserve this is a daily struggle that I encounter. I try so hard to not be down on myself, to believe, but it is difficult.
The publisher has delayed Supernaturally Yours publication date by two weeks. Not a big deal I know (in my head I know) but my emotions immediately went to the “What did I do wrong?” “I’m not good enough.” “This is all a joke, I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and find it never happened.” Place. It took a lot of internal self-boosting talk and listening to Mr. Gloria for me to put those thoughts aside and keep going.
So I’ve avoided posting, trying to think happy and be happy and post happy and most of all trying to be gentle with myself. Finally I couldn’t ignore it any longer I had to blog. SO here I am, emotionally naked, letting you all know what I can’t hide from. I’m not looking for pity (I can give plenty of that to myself) but rather just wanted to show you all I am human. I also wanted to explain my absence so that no one thought I was ignoring them.
Wow reading this blog back makes me sound right certifiable – I swear I’m not. I get down, and today (this month) has been a down time. I will survive, and will perk up by the next time I write.
An incredibly long post and for that I apologize and hope everyone can forgive my blabbering on. I promise next one will be happier. To ask for forgiveness I will include a couple of pictures of me in Mijas Pueblo and Ronda in Spain. As I said, unreal views and unbelievable moments. That’s what I need to hold onto rather than the low points.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
Cover Reveal!!
I am back from Spain and am desperately trying to get everything all caught up and back in order - so unfortunately I do not have a post for you today - but I didn't want to make you wait any longer so here is the artwork for Supernaturally Yours, to be released October 17th 2014.
And for those who have been wondering - here's the blurb:
Anna is your average small town girl, she works at a bookstore, likes to cook, she is quiet, klutzy, and unassuming -the girl next door.She is also a Supernatural Creature.Becoming a Zombie has brought her nothing but heartache, her family life, her love life even her self-esteem have been shattered as a result of her transformation.After sitting on the side lines of life for too many years trying to not attract attention Anna, with much badgering from her best friend Jenny, decides to take control and begin dating again.Unfortunately her foray into the world of Supernatural Singledom is met with disaster.Thrown into the proverbial arms of the one man who hurt her more than any other, by a psychopath bent on her destruction, Anna is forced to reevaluate her opinion of Nathan.Much to Anna’s surprise the unbelievably hunky officer is not at all what she thought and she has a hard time keeping her hands off his delectable body.Their steamy chemistry is overwhelming as they discover that together they can find out and overcome the fiend who is behind the attempts on Anna’s life.
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Birthday / Summer / Vacation Madness!
You know it's rather funny, whenever I go to begin a post my first thought is to talk about the weather. It's like the original conversation starter will now be known as a "blog starter". What's particularly humorous about me talking about the weather is the fact that I absolutely suck at small talk. Everyone tells me "Just talk about how nice / rainy / snowy / hot it is out. That's a great way to begin a chat." In person I can't do it - I've tried. But then here I am blogging and what do I use to begin things? The local seven day forecast. Weird.
So that being said I will endeavour to not use the weather as a starter. I will vow instead to only speak about my odd family, my odder friends or perhaps the hilarity that is my life....okay, maybe that's not such a great idea. It could get me in trouble. That's not to say I'll never speak about those who surround me because then I'd have very little to say. So, no vows, no promises just me trying to not use the usual (boring) conversational habits.
The past few weeks have been a wee bit crazy. I had a birthday (the big 4-0) which is crazy. In no way, shape, or form do I feel forty. Not that I am upset by the number but rather flabbergasted by it. I know I've earned every one of those years, and am not ashamed by them. I just don't know when they happened.
Anyways, originally I had planned to have a big party with all my friends and family surrounding me. Then, well, finances changed. You know how it is, shit happens and there's nothing we can do but hold on for the ride. So I pulled back on my ideas and decided to have some friends out to the trailer (AKA my summer getaway) for drinks and a campfire. Mr. Gloria gave me a new Kobo Glo, Thing 2 a movie and Thing 1 had previously given me a new book. I was happy with that. (thrilled with the Kobo since it's what I had asked for.)
So on Saturday morning I sat on my deck, reading ("A Discovery of Witches" (on my new Kobo) by Deborah Harkness - a great fantasy series, if you haven't read it I recommend giving it a go.) and relaxing. When all of a sudden my sister L, my sister-in-law J and one of my BF's pull in. Now keep in mind I knew something was up because T (the BF) has been ignoring me for nearly 3 weeks, uanble to talk or make eye contact so when they showed up I wasn't hugely surprised. I may not have known what was going to happen but I knew something was. They load me up (luckily in a dress) and take me to the theater. We saw Les Miserables at The Drayton Theater near Grand Bend, Ontario - a phenominal show. After that we were going out for dinner (or so they told me) and just had to pick up another friend. The surprise was done and I was happy with the theater and friends out for the night. But, that wasn't what was to happen.
We get to the friends place and there is a rather large party for me, including a projector to watch my favorite movies (Rocky Horror Picture show, Veronica Mars and The Princess Bride were on the playbill) We had a barbeque and lots of laughs. This evil scheme was planned by so many friends and Mr. Gloria. (Who by the way I am now concerned about - because my goodness can that boy lie!) I was completely blown away. I really thought the theater was the extent of my surprise but I was wrong. During the party Mr. Gloria pulls up behind me with a brand new scooter. I've always wanted a scooter, mind you I wanted my ass to be a little narrower before planting it on a bike but we can't have everything we want. Mr. Gloria, the sweetest man alive, has been hiding money from me, and planning this party.
I discovered, something I have always suspected but definately had confirmed, that I hate being the center of attention. Everyone was staring at me. I even refused to take my sunglasses off, I don't know if I thought that would let them steal my soul or something equally nefarious but I just couldn't do it. I'm definately a girl who enjoys having a good time, when everyone is chatting and having fun, and NOT looking at me. Don't misunderstand I loved the party, the friends, the food, I just could have done with a little less attention on me specifically.
We laughed, we drank, we watched movies and sang along with them, it was the type of party that I'd always wanted. Although I never could have expected the pinata filled with, umm...adult novelties (some of them even vibrated). And just for future reference to anyone who might be thinking this sounds like a good idea, I wouldn't recommend putting tubes of lube in a pinata and handing someone a baseball bat. It can get messy. Anyhoo....
Now I have this fabulous scooter to toot around town on, a bad ass biker helmet (old school) and a grin on face from ear to ear as I ride around.
That's enough about my birthday madness, let me tell you a little about the book. I've been assigned a new editor (*Hi, Kristin!*) and we are bopping along. First and second round 'line edits' are done. From what she tells me, it looks like we're done all we can do. Now it's again with the waiting game. Soon we should have some cover art to reveal (in the next month or so).
I have finished also my initial draft on a novella and I have sent that on to my Beta readers, and when they are done it will be editing for me. I'm about halfway through a full novel that has stuttered a little in my brain so I have set it aside for a little while to let the ideas metriculate. That's one of the reasons I haven't been as present online as normal, just so crazy busy.
Now that summer is almost over I am taking a bit of a break. Reading, thinking (okay plotting), chillin' and prepping as I head on vacation in (EEK!) four days! And I am nowhere near ready. The whole fam-damily is heading to Spain for two weeks, for my baby sisters wedding. I am the first to admit I am not a very worldly traveller (pretty insular here) and I am a touch nervous. I'm sure I'll be back in September with all sorts of stories about the insanity that is guaranteed to ensue.
With that thought I am going to get going - too much to do and not enough time and I have been rather long winded today. Until I get back - enjoy the rest of your summer!
Here's a picture for you all to laugh at, me on my new scooter,any suggestions on how to avoid helmet head (hair) would be appreciated. Standing beside me is Mr. Gloria (isn't he handsome!)
So that being said I will endeavour to not use the weather as a starter. I will vow instead to only speak about my odd family, my odder friends or perhaps the hilarity that is my life....okay, maybe that's not such a great idea. It could get me in trouble. That's not to say I'll never speak about those who surround me because then I'd have very little to say. So, no vows, no promises just me trying to not use the usual (boring) conversational habits.
The past few weeks have been a wee bit crazy. I had a birthday (the big 4-0) which is crazy. In no way, shape, or form do I feel forty. Not that I am upset by the number but rather flabbergasted by it. I know I've earned every one of those years, and am not ashamed by them. I just don't know when they happened.
Anyways, originally I had planned to have a big party with all my friends and family surrounding me. Then, well, finances changed. You know how it is, shit happens and there's nothing we can do but hold on for the ride. So I pulled back on my ideas and decided to have some friends out to the trailer (AKA my summer getaway) for drinks and a campfire. Mr. Gloria gave me a new Kobo Glo, Thing 2 a movie and Thing 1 had previously given me a new book. I was happy with that. (thrilled with the Kobo since it's what I had asked for.)
So on Saturday morning I sat on my deck, reading ("A Discovery of Witches" (on my new Kobo) by Deborah Harkness - a great fantasy series, if you haven't read it I recommend giving it a go.) and relaxing. When all of a sudden my sister L, my sister-in-law J and one of my BF's pull in. Now keep in mind I knew something was up because T (the BF) has been ignoring me for nearly 3 weeks, uanble to talk or make eye contact so when they showed up I wasn't hugely surprised. I may not have known what was going to happen but I knew something was. They load me up (luckily in a dress) and take me to the theater. We saw Les Miserables at The Drayton Theater near Grand Bend, Ontario - a phenominal show. After that we were going out for dinner (or so they told me) and just had to pick up another friend. The surprise was done and I was happy with the theater and friends out for the night. But, that wasn't what was to happen.
We get to the friends place and there is a rather large party for me, including a projector to watch my favorite movies (Rocky Horror Picture show, Veronica Mars and The Princess Bride were on the playbill) We had a barbeque and lots of laughs. This evil scheme was planned by so many friends and Mr. Gloria. (Who by the way I am now concerned about - because my goodness can that boy lie!) I was completely blown away. I really thought the theater was the extent of my surprise but I was wrong. During the party Mr. Gloria pulls up behind me with a brand new scooter. I've always wanted a scooter, mind you I wanted my ass to be a little narrower before planting it on a bike but we can't have everything we want. Mr. Gloria, the sweetest man alive, has been hiding money from me, and planning this party.
I discovered, something I have always suspected but definately had confirmed, that I hate being the center of attention. Everyone was staring at me. I even refused to take my sunglasses off, I don't know if I thought that would let them steal my soul or something equally nefarious but I just couldn't do it. I'm definately a girl who enjoys having a good time, when everyone is chatting and having fun, and NOT looking at me. Don't misunderstand I loved the party, the friends, the food, I just could have done with a little less attention on me specifically.
We laughed, we drank, we watched movies and sang along with them, it was the type of party that I'd always wanted. Although I never could have expected the pinata filled with, umm...adult novelties (some of them even vibrated). And just for future reference to anyone who might be thinking this sounds like a good idea, I wouldn't recommend putting tubes of lube in a pinata and handing someone a baseball bat. It can get messy. Anyhoo....
Now I have this fabulous scooter to toot around town on, a bad ass biker helmet (old school) and a grin on face from ear to ear as I ride around.
That's enough about my birthday madness, let me tell you a little about the book. I've been assigned a new editor (*Hi, Kristin!*) and we are bopping along. First and second round 'line edits' are done. From what she tells me, it looks like we're done all we can do. Now it's again with the waiting game. Soon we should have some cover art to reveal (in the next month or so).
I have finished also my initial draft on a novella and I have sent that on to my Beta readers, and when they are done it will be editing for me. I'm about halfway through a full novel that has stuttered a little in my brain so I have set it aside for a little while to let the ideas metriculate. That's one of the reasons I haven't been as present online as normal, just so crazy busy.
Now that summer is almost over I am taking a bit of a break. Reading, thinking (okay plotting), chillin' and prepping as I head on vacation in (EEK!) four days! And I am nowhere near ready. The whole fam-damily is heading to Spain for two weeks, for my baby sisters wedding. I am the first to admit I am not a very worldly traveller (pretty insular here) and I am a touch nervous. I'm sure I'll be back in September with all sorts of stories about the insanity that is guaranteed to ensue.
With that thought I am going to get going - too much to do and not enough time and I have been rather long winded today. Until I get back - enjoy the rest of your summer!
Here's a picture for you all to laugh at, me on my new scooter,any suggestions on how to avoid helmet head (hair) would be appreciated. Standing beside me is Mr. Gloria (isn't he handsome!)
Friday, 18 July 2014
That was awkward....
I hate feeling awkward. That’s an odd sentence because really who likes feeling awkward? (The hint is in the meaning). For me, it comes in social situations. I never know what to do, or say, how to behave, what are appropriate actions and so on. Socializing is like a mine field: ready to blow me into little pieces at any time.
Before I get to far into this I must take a minute to mention how lucky I am to be surrounded by a group of friends who ignore my ineptitude and make me comfortable. Enough so that I no longer feel like talking to them, or hanging out with them is a “social situation” it’s more like wearing a comfy bathrobe while chatting. Nothing uncomfortable there. And my friends are definitely to thank for that.
For me a social situation is defined as any moment where I have to speak to people I don’t know. Being at work doesn’t count (it’s a specific type of conversation where I know what to expect and how to answer the questions that will come up) so work is safe.
This is how most of my moments of total mortification (AKA social situations) appear:
Me: “Hi.”
Other person: “Hi, how are you?”
Me: “Good. You?”
Other person: “Great. Nice day?”
Me: “Uh huh.”
And then the deafening sound of crickets and air whooshing takes over the room. The silence becomes deadly, and we stare at each other wondering who will break first. Neither of us does, I smile awkwardly: which must come out as more of a grimace because the other person doesn’t smile back. The sweat starts to pool under my arms, my breathing speeds up. I can’t figure out what is appropriate to do or say. I stare at the other person until my eyes begin watering. The other person looks at me unsure why I am sweating, crying and grimacing at them. They then clears their throat in nervous reaction – not knowing if I am about to attack or pass out. With a great amount of unease we both look away. And the moment to connect, to meet someone new, to overcome my fear, is lost.
It feels like public speaking when I am trying to talk to anyone I don’t know (in case you haven’t guessed it public speaking is NOT my forte.) I never know what to say, should I talk about politics? (which I don’t follow) weather? (um…boring) drinking? (Not exactly appropriate with a teenager) sex? (Definitely awkward with a senior citizen or any stranger really). What do I say???
And to make it worse when I get uncomfortable really weird things come out…
Like the time I blurted out:
“My cat just died.”
Or “Gone on any dates yet?” (To a newly married woman.)
Or “I like butter tarts.”
Or “Cute kid. Can’t be yours, right?”
And so on and so forth. I guess I could look at it as a positive – my verbal diarrhea makes not only me cringe but everyone else now feels the same way I do. Uncomfortable. This is a positive to me because while they are tilting their heads in awe, the word bubble above their head saying “Did she really just say that out loud?” I can escape. And that is what I usually do – RUN AWAY!
So if you see me and I say something completely weird, inappropriate or awkward, just smile and nod. And maybe back away slowly – you never know what will happen next.
Before I get to far into this I must take a minute to mention how lucky I am to be surrounded by a group of friends who ignore my ineptitude and make me comfortable. Enough so that I no longer feel like talking to them, or hanging out with them is a “social situation” it’s more like wearing a comfy bathrobe while chatting. Nothing uncomfortable there. And my friends are definitely to thank for that.
For me a social situation is defined as any moment where I have to speak to people I don’t know. Being at work doesn’t count (it’s a specific type of conversation where I know what to expect and how to answer the questions that will come up) so work is safe.
This is how most of my moments of total mortification (AKA social situations) appear:
Me: “Hi.”
Other person: “Hi, how are you?”
Me: “Good. You?”
Other person: “Great. Nice day?”
Me: “Uh huh.”
And then the deafening sound of crickets and air whooshing takes over the room. The silence becomes deadly, and we stare at each other wondering who will break first. Neither of us does, I smile awkwardly: which must come out as more of a grimace because the other person doesn’t smile back. The sweat starts to pool under my arms, my breathing speeds up. I can’t figure out what is appropriate to do or say. I stare at the other person until my eyes begin watering. The other person looks at me unsure why I am sweating, crying and grimacing at them. They then clears their throat in nervous reaction – not knowing if I am about to attack or pass out. With a great amount of unease we both look away. And the moment to connect, to meet someone new, to overcome my fear, is lost.
It feels like public speaking when I am trying to talk to anyone I don’t know (in case you haven’t guessed it public speaking is NOT my forte.) I never know what to say, should I talk about politics? (which I don’t follow) weather? (um…boring) drinking? (Not exactly appropriate with a teenager) sex? (Definitely awkward with a senior citizen or any stranger really). What do I say???
And to make it worse when I get uncomfortable really weird things come out…
Like the time I blurted out:
“My cat just died.”
Or “Gone on any dates yet?” (To a newly married woman.)
Or “I like butter tarts.”
Or “Cute kid. Can’t be yours, right?”
And so on and so forth. I guess I could look at it as a positive – my verbal diarrhea makes not only me cringe but everyone else now feels the same way I do. Uncomfortable. This is a positive to me because while they are tilting their heads in awe, the word bubble above their head saying “Did she really just say that out loud?” I can escape. And that is what I usually do – RUN AWAY!
So if you see me and I say something completely weird, inappropriate or awkward, just smile and nod. And maybe back away slowly – you never know what will happen next.
Tuesday, 8 July 2014
Humour in love scenes
Okay so I've run into a conundrum. When I write anything, including romance, I tend to write with humour. Meaning a love scene will have you alternately breathing hot and heavy until you snort your drink out of your nose. I find this most closely resembles real life. You have steamy moments interspersed by moments of pure and honest laughter. Half of romance, to me at least, is being able to laugh with your partner. Being able to connect through laughter brings you closer, and this is essential both inside the bedroom and out. The ability to laugh at ourselves in situations such as the somewhat contorted, and possibly awkward bedroom antics brings a couple together.
So back to my conundrum. I have had a couple of beta readers feel and comment that the humour felt "weird" or "off". When I questioned them, it wasn't the type of humour that was off, it was that they didn't feel laughter belonged in a love scene. I tend to disagree, but am wondering what everyone out there in cyber world thinks.
I do think it needs to find a balance, and can't be all laughter and jokes. But if something funny happens why wouldn't we laugh? Doesn't laughter make the heart fonder? So if we are going for a love scene, a little hahaha can be useful both to break up the steam, and to let the reader know the characters are human.
Let me know what you think! All steam, or let the funny bone out when it comes to love scenes?
So back to my conundrum. I have had a couple of beta readers feel and comment that the humour felt "weird" or "off". When I questioned them, it wasn't the type of humour that was off, it was that they didn't feel laughter belonged in a love scene. I tend to disagree, but am wondering what everyone out there in cyber world thinks.
I do think it needs to find a balance, and can't be all laughter and jokes. But if something funny happens why wouldn't we laugh? Doesn't laughter make the heart fonder? So if we are going for a love scene, a little hahaha can be useful both to break up the steam, and to let the reader know the characters are human.
Let me know what you think! All steam, or let the funny bone out when it comes to love scenes?
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